We can’t all blame the producers about this one. This year’s Bachelorette was just as calculated and strategic as any producer. Maybe it was her attorney-inspired composure. Maybe it was her self-serving attitude inspired by her extreme conceitedness, but most of the season’s episodes, promotion and commercials induced extreme eye rolling on my end of the TV. Like previous bachelorettes have benefitted from there time on the show, cough cough EMILY, I felt like Andi–clearly not promoting her career in law–maybe just wanted a producer job or something.
At least she ended up with the cheesiest cocky guy on the show, so they can have many to-be-politician offsprings. I can’t be the only one to gotten a bad taste in my mouth watching and being annoyed by her, right? Well, here’s my list. Maybe you agree.
1. She does that annoying “Oh I’m so embarrassed, but look how cute I am” thing all pretty girls do.2. She Tweets up a STORM during the show airings. Like, really? This is all just social media marketing for “reality” television.
Headed to after the final rose! Biiiiiig night! Who is ready for the live show?!? #TheBachelorette
— Andi Dorfman (@AndiDorfman) July 29, 2014
I mean, other franchise “alums” (why do they call them that? This is the exact opposite of higher education. THIS IS LOWER EDUCATION) tweet a lot… but they are less promotional, more hilarious.
It’s amazing how the generic guitar playing in the background makes a boring conversation very, very exciting. #TheBachelorette
— Sean Lowe (@SeanLowe09) July 29, 2014
3. Even her contestants call her out. Eric Hill (who died in an accident before the show aired) called out Andi for her “poker face” insinuating that she acts different around the cameras. It was actually a little endearing, but not very well articulated. He definitely had some ground to stand on and Andi just cried and told him to leave.
ANNNNDDD the runner up, Nick, confronted Andi, saying she lead him on. I mean, Nick was creepy and I find it hard to believe that ANYONE thought he was going to win (also weird verbiage–winning a wife? Like a trophy? Like a trophy wife? So many things wrong with that). Nick basically said there was no indication that she wasn’t head over heels in love with him–which is a little confusing. He basically said: It didn’t seem like you didn’t not love me… #prayersfornick. Oh yeah, then he said that her having sex with him, was “fiancé stuff.” Totally exposing her and playing in to that slut-shaming culture that The Bachelorette/Bachelor inspires.
4. She very strategically cries (when she breaks up with the guys….. LIKE all of them). But has very controlled emotions otherwise. Plus, she definitely doesn’t ugly cry–AKA fake.
5. She substantiates the relationships more than I’ve ever seen. I find it hard to believe that Andi is so deluded into thinking she is seriously dating 25 guys at a time. Most bachelorettes use phrases like “getting to know” or “sending home” these guys. Andi says “dating” and “breaking up.” All the time. If that’s not exaggerating, I don’t know what is.
6. She had catch phrases. ABC has missed some serious merch opportunities for “I mean” and “Stahp” I could see T-shirts and buttons and bumper stickers galore.
7. She fully encouraged the pregnancy rumors.
— Andi Dorfman (@AndiDorfman) July 21, 2014
I think Andi was a great Bachelorette. She was far from boring, she dressed cute and clearly had a handle on looking good on screen. Like, maybe ABC should hire her or something. As, like, the Bachelorette coach to give the next person tips or host classes like “How to Tweet People into Caring About Your Episode” and “STAAAHHPP and Think About YOUR Catchphrase.”
This season gets a score 9 of 10 cheese balls, and that’s AFTER a terrible season of Juan Pablo. Andi is most definitely to credit/blame for that.