The waiting game

I feel like I’m constantly waiting. Waiting for the semester to be over. Waiting to hear back from scholarships or internships. Waiting to graduate. Waiting. Indefinitely.

Except one thing is definite. By the end of March I will know if I will be living in New York City with the ASME internship, if I am to be considered for the editor in chief position for The Daily Cougar, if I will be living in Austin with the Texas Monthly internship, or if I will be spending the summer slinging hash at pappadeaux (or some similar lame job).

I’ve divided my summer opportunities into plans A-D and, while I thought it would help me consider my priorities, it just made shit all too real.

Seriously, I’m freaking out. Seventy-five percent of my day is occupied with my mind drifting off to my various life paths. Look, I know that sounds dramatic, but all of my options set me on a different track, each crucial to my future. And what’s worse than this slow torture of waiting, is the possibility of failure.

I was 2-0 in internship wins before this semester, and know I’ve received more rejection emails than I can count. So while I know I’m like basically the best there is, my current track record argues otherwise.

I just wish (I would get all the things and can have my pick)… but seriously… I wish that you would reply to me faster. PUT ME OUT OF MY MISERY. I just can’t focus! I can’t sleep (well for other reasons), I can’t eat (bahahah good one, I’m such a fat ass), I can’t focus (no that one is true…)

Can’t I just rip the band aid off and be graduated?! UGGGHHHH

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