Here we go. The two weeks we have all been waiting for. This entire summer I’ve been anticipating watching fit-as-hell American athletes work their tails off in London while I sit on my ass and stuff my face with an assortment of junk foods. As I’m eating ice cream (my drug of choice) I think: “Wow, the Olympics has the potential to be a killer drinking game.” Here’s my attempt at getting viewers drunk.
DRINK every time they say someone’s weight or height.
DRINK every time someone cries.
TAKE A SHOT every time USA gets a medal!!!
DRINK every time they go to commercial break and say “more from London, when we get back.”
TAKE A SHOT every time an American athlete gets interviewed.
DRINK every time they refer to an athlete as their country’s “hope.”
DRINK every time there is a reference to or you think of a reference to “The Hunger Games.”
DRINK every time there’s an athlete younger than you.
DRINK every time someone kisses their medal/points to God/touches their chest.
The opening ceremonies: (I know this happened already, but think how drunk you would be if you could do this retroactively.)
DRINK every time a new song came on.
DRINK every time someone says “Flame.”
TAKE A SHOT every time the cameras were on a member of the royal family or an American politician.
DRINK every time you saw a childhood idol/fictional character.
DRINK every time you hear (from either the announcers or the programming) a fact about Great Britain that you learned in school.
DRINK every time the announcers said something that made you glad that they WEREN’T your parent.
TAKE A SHOT every time they introduced someone that you DIDN’T know but you probably should.
DRINK every time John Lennon did something that made you cringe.
PUNCH anyone who believed that the Queen ACTUALLY jumped from the plane.
CRY when Muhammad Ali touched the flag. SUCH a touching moment.
March of the Athletes:
DRINK every time they announce a country you hadn’t heard of or didn’t know was a country.
DRINK every time the camera’s flash back to the American Athletes.
TAKE A SHOT every time the flag carrier was a Judo fighter.
TAKE A SHOT every time the announcers said that a country was in financial crisis or had political problems.
DRINK every time someone serves an ace.
DRINK every time someone slams.
DRINK every time they block a spike.
Bam. Drunk in one set.
DRINK every time a new swimmer gains the lead.
TAKE A SHOT when the race is over.
TAKE A SHOT when someone falls.
TRY NOT TO LAUGH when someone falls.
WOW. I had to stop myself. There are so much more so please feel free to comment more or tweet me: @nataliejharms. THANKS LOVERRRSSS.
Please drink responsibly. AKA please don’t actually do this… hahahahah you MIGHT die.