Magazine Queens

Do you ever find yourself in drug store looking for a quality shiny papered good time but don’t know which glossy goddess to choose? Well have no fear; I’m here to help! My qualifications: journalism major, ultimate bad ass, currently unemployed so what else have I got to do?, user of products (i.e. make-up, perfume), wearer of clothes, worked at a fashion/high society magazine for a semester (HOUSTON Magazine) and–most importantly–I’m a girl.

Hard to pick… harder to hold.

So here’s the run-down. Eight magazines, all read covineer-to-cover, all fashion/celebrity/girly. Now, here is my professionally found order of preference:

THE WINNER IS… ELLE

The Winner!

I love everything about ELLE. I crave to read it cover to cover. There are a lot of words in this one, beware. But it is just so me. It has all the trending fashions without the overbearing celebrity stank. Just because Keira Knightley or some other skinny bitch actress wore it, does not make it fashionable. OK, Knightley rocks it out daily. But whatever. Point is… they’ll have a few celebs but not too much where you think you accidently picked up OK! magazine. Plus their book/movie/music reviews are amazing! No short undescriptive paragraphs here! I got everything I wanted from it without having to go to IMDb! They also have constant reader input and feature a ton of indie artists/designers etc. This is a magazine I can and will read my whole life. 

A VERY CLOSE SECOND IS… VOGUE

Who can go wrong with the reining queen of the Magazine tower? Vogue is another glossy book any lady of any age can pick up and have a good ole time with. They feature everything from athletics (the June issue espeshh) to fashion (obvi). But what is interesting about Vogue is the in depth articles about trending woman’s issues! It’s always an interesting read. But definitely only a pool/beach read. I wouldn’t read this every month. Just pick one up from time to time.

THE ONE WITH THE HAIRIEST CHEST IS… HARPER’S BAZAAR

Love this. So much. love.

Their page designs, just like this gold shoe, kicks ass!

There’s one very big reason HB makes it up to high on my list: IT’S GORGEOUS. And I mean that is saying something… to be more aesthetically pleasing than other fash mags? That is a feat. They use bright colors and bolded words to draw attention. The layouts are just everything I think magazines like these should be. I literally want to meet the page designers from HB and shake their gifted hands! Basically if i was older, lived in a more professional atmosphere, more fashion-saavy and, what’s the word, oh yeah RICHER... then this would be my bible. As I am not, YET… then it kinda bums me out. But I definitely still enjoy it a ton! (BTW subscriptions are remarkably cheap for this mag tho!)

A FAVORABLE FOURTH IS… MARIE CLAIRE

Another solid pick. Marie Claire offers many low budget fashion tips in every issue! It really reminds me of the grown-up Seventeen–which is not an insult at all! Seventeen has many sections from styles, fashion and beauty to love and “real-talk”. Marie Claire is the same! Tons of advice in this mag… my problem is that there’s horoscopes. MC, you’d be up a few places if you’d just drop that bull shit. (I really can’t explain the origin of my hatred of horoscopes. Just that I do. A LOT. Maybe because as a kid when I was a reader of Seventeen and Teen Vogue, I never found love in the eyes of a guy friend when the moon was full or whatever. Bitches lied.)

THE FEATURE-FILLED FIFTH IS… VANITY FAIR

I thoroughly enjoy VF. I think I would enjoy it more if I was a BIT more mature. I see VF as the love child of Newsweek and Vogue. There are pages with nothing but words and then there a pages that are just one huge picture. That and the in depth exposes and histories of varies topics (some including politics–GASP!)  make it SUCH an interesting read.. but not exactly a treadmill grab. This is not at all what I thought was Vanity Fair… but I gotta say. I was pleasantly surprised. I didn’t miss the fashion and beauty advice like I thought I would.

THE SEXY SIXTH IS… COSMOPOLITAN 

Bet all you ladies were wondering where good ole Cosmo would be, huh? Well it is sixth for me and I realize that might be a tad low (but sixth alliterated with sexy! ha haa). And it’s not JUST because of the scops sect. Believe it or not, it’s TOO sexy for me. Oh I buy it and I read it. But for a good whole 20-30 minutes and then it’s recycle-able. It’s kind of like once you’ve read “101 Secrets to Spice Up Your Sex Life” eight times you’re basically done. I do think they do a fine job with the mag as a whole so it is definitely a read… just not maybe an “every month MUST read.”

THE NOT-SO-LUCKY SEVENTH IS… LUCKY 

OK, did anyone else grow up stealing their mom’s Lucky issue or was that just me? I loved all the fashion in this mag all growing up. They always had the little “like,” “love,” and “maybe” tags that made me wanna buy all the things! But now, literally a quarter of the size it used to be; the mag leaves much to be desired. 

LAST AND DEFINITELY LEAST IS… REDBOOK

I started subscribing to Redbook back when I thought all magazines were the same and this one was cheap. You see, I was looking for a transitional mag for post-Seventeen life. Boy was I wrong about this one. Also, somehow I still get this every month. WTH. While I do enjoy the recipes and healthy eating advice, let’s face it. I don’t cook and I eat too much. Plus there’s a ton of family/mommy sections that HELLO I do not need right now or (please by the grace of God) anytime soon. Just a big zero in my non-red book.

Well, there it is folks. Hope it helps! I’m such a magazine fan I cannot even say. And considering this is what I really hope to do with my life, I’m glad to read ’em all. Such a good excuse relax and grab a mag… I mean it’s my FUTURE we’re talking about! 😉

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